SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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