doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
