Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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