new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
