That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
