This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize