i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
