I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I love you. Go after that dick
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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