I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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