I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
