Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
