I'm jealous of your bromance
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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