I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
organizing the empties. That sober.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
