Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
