wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
