Nicole vs. Life
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
