I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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