i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
