So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
