Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I think I just sharted jello shots
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
