Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize