we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
