Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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