I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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