i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize