I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
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He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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