ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
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I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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