so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
