so let's talk penis.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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