If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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