i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
