she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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