everyone is single if you try hard enough
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
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