Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
