I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
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I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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