I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
