It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
