We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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