Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
