How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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