I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
