Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
