i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
