well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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