i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize