I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just has baby written all over it
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize