it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
