I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
