I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
