my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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