I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
