I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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