I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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