First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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