Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
