Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.

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(917): View more from New York City

did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?

(914): View more from New York

you mean faeutihaers?

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(434): View more from Virginia

my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.

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(404): View more from Georgia

He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.

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(216): View more from Ohio

I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.

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