(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
