where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing