apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
