I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
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When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
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It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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