Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
