i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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