drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
