Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
