I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
