I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
