We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
