You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
